The PNP Approach to Solving Negative Situations

It isn't easy to let someone down. I recently had a gig scheduled up in Sacramento to perform at a benefit function. My partner in the band and I agreed to do the gig under the understanding that a sound system would be provided for us. Unfortunately, I didn't control all of the aspects of the performance and the day before the concert found out the event coordinator had no sound system available to us. My partner in the band would not agree to cart all of our equipment up to Sacramento from the Bay Area to make the gig. We had to cancel. I was caught in the middle. Now my word was jeopardized and my friends might be upset at me - not to mention the people who planned the event.

We've all had situations where we've let someone down. It happens. I believe in keeping our word. Jesus said, "let your yes be yes and your no be no" -- words I've always felt were good to live by.

What do we do when keeping our word is out of our control?

First, if we break our word we must do it tactfully, with full gratefulness for the opportunity. Second, we must immediately take steps to pick up from the letdown.

It is similar to the idea of surrounding a negative with two positives (the PNP approach). Over the past year, I've learned to pretty much just let all negatives go, because it does not help to focus on them nor does it help to tell someone something negative about them. If you have to deliver negative news, at least try to surround it with two positives.

This thought process works in business as follows. You have a complaint about your job. Rather than blast off a flaming email to your manager razing him about how his inability to solve a problem is now all his fault, we can try the PNP approach.

Positive-negative-positive. "Hi, manager, I like the new (positive) we've implemented this past month. One thing that might also help is to consider improving (negative issue) to help alleviate (concern). Thanks for also helping with the (positive)." I've found this works very, very well with my managers and fellow employees.

So in the case of letting down my friends I've decided to immediately invite them to my house for a dinner party. It will be a good occasion to get together and will cost me a little bit of time and money -- but that positive should help them quickly dismiss my no-show at their benefit.

And guess what -- next year, if I say yes, I'm going to be there.